Spin $ANAL

Power to Assholes
for every chain on earth.

Anal OS is the leading low performance network powering internet capital farts, frozen payments, and meme applications.

Spin the $ANAL machine $ANAL is live on Gachapad. The machine is spinning. Spin now · $5

Every $ANAL is a loot box.
$5 a spin. Same odds for everyone.

  1. 01

    Spin.

    $5 in USDC, random bag, every spin wins. Not even the founder can rig it (he's in jail).

  2. 02

    Graduate.

    At $20K or after 7 days, $ANAL lists on Uniswap. Liquidity locked forever. Unlike our validators, it can't go down.

  3. 03

    Claim.

    Bags unlock after graduation. No pre-dumps, no team bag. We checked.

Spin the $ANAL machine
Spin the $ANAL machine

The Manifasshole
Signed by assholes everywhere.

69,420 signatures

  1. ART. I

    We are investors Assholes. An unexpected crypto-movement that makes maximalists smile.

  2. ART. II

    We are building a DAO that gives voice to outraged people. We only do good, using the best parts of the web3 shitshow.

  3. ART. III

    We value being educational, to make web3 users aware. Sarcastic, to distract you from CT. Together, to become unstoppable. Unlike some chains.

  4. ART. IV

    We are the ones who get early access frontrunned and rugged every day. We hold frozen money on CEX. We buy tokens at 10x the VCs' price.

  5. ART. V

    We don't need to buy any more shitcoins.
    We are the shitcoins.

  • @frozen_on_ftx signed
  • @rugged4times signed
  • @bought_the_top signed
  • @validator_3_toaster signed
  • @exitliquidity.sol signed
  • @paperhands_pete signed
  • @ser_wen_airdrop signed
  • @cex_hostage signed

GENESIS PLUG · COLLECTION 001

The Genesis Plug.
The first crypto-native plug.

  1. 01

    Seed Vault. Literally.

    Your seed phrase stays where nobody will ever look. Hardware-grade security, software-grade dignity.

  2. 02

    The snapshot.

    There may or may not be a snapshot. We can't say of what. We can say that wallets showing up early for $ANAL on Gachapad tend to be remembered. Keep your receipts.

  3. 03

    Redeem the real one.

    Burn the NFT, get the physical plug shipped home in discreet packaging. Shipping times subject to network uptime.

Spin the $ANAL machine Get notified on Twitter

Totally unrelated. Not financial advice. Not a promise. Not not a promise.

Free the Founder.
He'd do the same for you.

The founder in an orange prison jumpsuit, handcuffed, smiling, eyes censored
ANAL OS DEPT. OF CORRECTIONS FOUNDER · #3825869 BOOKED: AFTER 20 YRS ON THE RUN

Our developer and founding father. Accused of being the creator of Bitcoin, he was arrested after 20 years on the run. Every wei gets him one step closer to the outside, and Anal OS one step closer to shipping.

Why he's in jail

  • 01Allegedly being Satoshi
  • 02Shipping to mainnet on a Friday
  • 0320 years on the run (he calls it "remote work")
Bail set at ∞ ETH

Raised so far: not enough. ETH has no supply cap, and neither does the judge.

Pick your contribution
QR code of the founder's EVM wallet address

FOUNDER'S COMMISSARY WALLET · ANY EVM CHAIN

0xc7858d0c9e0d35967cb468b7e9d3154e9d9b3c80

Send 0.001 ETH

Satire, obviously. Donations go to the Anal OS dev team and keep the lights on. The jail is a bit; the server bills are not. ETH or any EVM chain, same address: double-check the network before you send. No refunds, no bail guaranteed.